The loss of polarity between sexes these days can be confusing, making a man’s role ambiguous, questioning what a partner expects of the other and whether they can fulfill that expectation.
I spoke with a man today. He is a general contractor (he works with a backhoe and other heavy equipment), and was looking to help me with some issues on my father’s estate. He asked me what I do and I told him that I coach men. He asked what I focus on, and I told him that I work with men to come more in to their masculinity. I went on to say that we no longer have the experience where our elder men teach our young men how to be in this world because of our historic wars, and that the role of women has changed dramatically in the last 10-15 years and we see that men no longer know where they fit in with all that change. He said, “Oh wow, you must be busy”.
He went on to ask if it was ok to speak with me about the situation with his wife and I consented. He said his wife is angry and that she acts very much like a man. He said that she is cold and mean and that she gets competitive with his masculinity. He said she does not like it and when he tries to tell her about it, she gets angrier and blames him. He wants his wife to be a woman, he said, not a man. So they live distantly, still married, but miles apart. He joked that he’s going to need to get a girlfriend on the side soon because he won’t leave his kids with her because she is too mean. He said he often wonders where he went wrong and if he could have done something differently.
I hear a similar version of this story way too frequently. Culture asks, or shall I say demands, that women take on masculine traits to make their way through the day without being slaughtered by the demands and responsibilities of life, family and career. And the question remains, what of our men with this change?
Where do our men fit in when our women do not know or even feel at home in their femininity anymore? How are men going to feel attracted to women who confront them with penetrating masculinity? Where is the polarity for magnetism? How does a man convey the turn off he feels when the woman he loves won’t let herself be receptive to him anymore?
We, cultured people, are losing our polarity and so many are suffering silently for it. We are experiencing role confusion, anger, hurt and abandonment over and over needlessly because we don’t understand this one simple truth:
Masculine men are deeply attracted to and inspired by feminine women. In fact, not much is as inspiring to a masculine man AS a feminine woman. Moreover, you’d be hard pressed to find something that makes a man rise all the way in to his greatness the way that a feminine woman can…FYI
