Reader LEONA BALDWIN gnashes her teeth at the crass arrogance recently dished out to her by a Sydney “security man”
Of all the stereotypes of all the professions, only one can be counted on to hold true as often, and universally, as that of bouncers.
Living up to their reputation collectively as a bunch of boorish bloodthirsty brutes who, under the guise of “maintaining order”, covet nothing more in an evening than a good punch up, most bouncers function as the clear catalyst in escalating disputes, as opposed to the pacifist.
Take for example, my recent encounter with the beefed-up boys in black at The Palace, a popular beach bar establishment at Coogee Beach, one Saturday night just a few weeks ago.
Located mere meters from the beach front, The Palace is renowned for its lively yet laidback atmosphere, wide rooftop patios overlooking the beach, and the perpetual supply of backpackers circulating through its doors daily.
Open all day, and continuing into the early hours of the morning, The Palace exudes the same easygoing attitude that is characteristic of the area, and markets itself specifically to this type of clientele.
But make no mistake – Cinderella isn’t the only one who transforms at the stroke of midnight. Fronted by a mob of snarling, smirking, testosterone-fueled meatheads on the door, The Palace by night becomes about as friendly and relaxed as a night out with the Bulldogs. Between suspicious glares and unintelligible grunts at patrons to produce ID, the bouncers greet customers at the door with open hostility, bordering on outright aggression. Honestly, U.S Customs officials- post 911, have nothing on these guys.
Flexing their over-inflated muscles to bolster their even more over-inflated egos, the bouncers busy themselves in the crowd trying to elicit even a remotely confrontational remark from someone – just begging for an excuse to exercise their sheer bulk.
Should such an excuse arise, the offender/ customer is dealt with swiftly, met with approving looks from other nearby bouncers for every implied threat and diminutive comment uttered. (ie, “We got your back, man”).
Regardless of age, sex, or ethnicity, it has to be said, they are commendably indiscriminate with these tactics of intimidation, lavishing an equal amount of malice and condescension on everyone who crosses their path. And, unlike many scenarios where even a tinge of feminine appeal opens most doors, my own charms were found less than beguiling.
It all started out quite harmlessly. We arrived around 6pm on a typical Saturday night out with some friends – all regular patrons of The Beefcake Den, aka The Palace, and made our way up to the roof top patio for some drinks. A few hours later, (in true backpacker fashion) my partner and I found our finances dwindling and a visit to the ATM was required.
Squeezing through the crowded stairwells and down the escalator, we emerged victorious from the teller machine, and then attempted to proceed back up the same escalator to regroup with our friends.
Standing at the base of the escalator, with one great meaty arm held up like a highway tollbooth barrier, the bouncer scrutinised us with a mixture of suspicion and disdain. As if we were late for the Opera with no black tie.
Glancing at his own upheld arm with authority (should we dare challenge it), he stood immobile, chest puffed out, with an obtuse expression on his face that refused to acknowledge our existence. He was taking his time. Relishing his glorious moment of real power over us lowly patrons deciding whether or not we would be afforded the luxury of actually getting upstairs in the beach bar (ooooh, the prestige!!!). I could barely contain my excitement.
With a sweeping look of disdain at my boyfriend’s feet, it finally spoke.
“Not tonight ladies and gentlemen.” (Fist responsively tightening at the end of its arm/ barrier, pre-empting any resistance).
“Sorry?” I questioned, forcing polite inquisition to dominate the tone of my voice, and not the incense that lay behind it. Everything about this bouncer suggested he was the archetypal ego-driven power-hungry wanker from which all bouncers are stereotyped, and for which I have even less patience than I do respect.
Leveling its eyes towards me, lips curled slightly in an oh-so becoming sneer, it stated again with exaggerated authority, “Not tonight ladies and gentlemen,” and began surveying those behind us to cement the message.
Standing within spit-range of an individual endowed with both the size and intelligence of a brick wall, it became evident after this preliminary verbal exchange that conflict resolution was a concept it neither understood nor practiced.
Weighing my desire to reunite with our friends against the overwhelming urge to tell the meathead to stuff it, I opted to reason with him.
“I don’t think you understand, we’ve just come from upstairs, we only came down to use the ATM, and now are on our way back upstairs to meet our friends, what seems to be the problem?”
Shaking its head patronisingly, as if refusing a child his dessert, it answered in what I’m sure it imagined was a threateningly monosyllabic tone, “Don’t fit the dress code”.
Incredulous, my partner and I laughed, taking in each others ‘trendy casual’ appearance compared to the accepted attire of beach shorts and t-shirts, and pressed further for explanation.
“No thongs” it answered with increasing agitation.
Assuming he meant the footwear and not the undergarments, my temper now flared. Everybody and I do mean close to 80% of the people in there were wearing thong sandals- it was a beach bar for Christ’s sake!
Raising this issue, along with my voice, the bouncer was starting to get very annoyed with me now. This wasn’t part of the plan. It barked orders, and we being the meek patrons either spinelessly acquiesced, or swallowed our pride and pathetically wheedled at them to reconsider. Direct challenges were not acceptable, particularly when they could not be dealt with using a swift punch in the face. (Though visibly, it could barely restrain itself).
My partner, refusing to argue any further with someone so pitifully desperate for authority, embarked on a compromise, suggesting I be allowed up to meet our friends and retrieve a house key, so he could go back and change his shoes.
But its ego had already been too badly damaged in the exchange to allow for this. Resorting to spite, and not even bothering to cover it with any semblance of professionalism, it answered:
“No, because your girlfriend is a bitch.”
Glaring at me, it was forced to acknowledge its own defeat of power. I was the one who had undermined it now, forced to employ totally unjustifiable measures to retain its control. Caught in an internal dilemma, its frustration was palpable. Being the opposition against its authority, if I were male I would have been unconscious by then, but being female, it was in the uncomfortable position of engaging in a confrontation without being able to threaten me physically.
Shocked and almost amused by this unprecedented verbal assault I retaliated as my boyfriend now pulled me away in disgust, “I may be a bitch, but I’m not the one standing at the bottom of an escalator for a profession!” To which he called back with even more venom, “Bitch!”
And so it ended. In vain my boyfriend angrily informed ‘management’ of the altercation, but even in light of the derogatory expletives used by its staff, they apologetically explained; “Sorry, we have to stand by our staff – but please do come back another night.” Yeah right!!!
Irate and indignant at being called into question in front of its superiors, the ‘escalator bouncer’ now lingered out the front of the establishment, watching us like a wounded and caged animal just waiting to lash out. Inciting support from nearby bouncers (only too eager to get into the action), in typical and almost laughable bouncer form it even threatened to show my partner “how it feels to have my fist in your face” when he continued prodding it to apologise to me.
This threat was not only heard, but ignored, by management less than 3 feet away.
Not surprisingly either, as generally speaking, this is the only tolerance you will experience in a contentious situation in clubs or bars today. From management towards the physical and verbal assault its ‘security staff’ (or more aptly named ‘insecurity staff’) inflict onto its ‘valued’ clientele.
So why is this tolerated? By patrons, by management, by the 0.05% of bouncers who don’t adhere to the near universal bully mentality? And at what point do you draw the line? It’s too late to ask David Hookes that question.
At minimum, enabling bouncers to treat paying customers according to their own egotistical whims can only reflect badly on the establishment that employs them, jeopardising both their business and reputation. Granted I didn’t walk away from the experience physically battered, but to say that it put a damper on what should have been an enjoyable night out is a mild understatement.
The bottom line is, of all the establishments in the area, we chose to frequent The Palace, and it brings only a small measure of satisfaction to know that, as a result of the unapologetic abuse I experienced that night, our group of friends atleast, will no longer do so. And hopefully, as a result of this article, maybe a few other potential customers will be influenced to abstain as well.
– Writer Leona Baldwin is a Sydney resident with a normally placid nature.
Recommended Bars & Nightclubs in Sydney (where you hopefully will get more respect):
Arq
16 Flinders St, Darlinghurst 9380 8700
The Basement
29 Reiby Pl, Sydney 9251 2797
Bristol Arms
82 Sussex St, Sydney 9262 5491
Carmen’s Nightclub
590 Kingsway, Miranda 9524 0398
Cave Nightclub
Pirrama Rd, Pyrmont 9566 4755
Chinese Laundry
3 Slip St, Sydney 9299 1700
City Live
Bent St, Fox Studios 9358 8000
Embassy Nightclub
16 Cross St, Double Bay 9328 2200
Gas Nightclub
477 Pitt St, Haymarket 9211 3088
Globe Nightclub
King Head Tavern. 60 Park St Sydney 9264 4844
Home Nightclub
Cockle Bay Wharf, 101 Wheat Rd Darling Harbour 9266 0600
IceBox
2 Kellet St, King Cross 9331 0058
Jackson’s On George
176 George St. Sydney 9247 2727
The Phoenix
34 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
Tank Nightclub
3 Bridge La, Sydney 9251 9933
Yu
171 Victoria St, Potts Point 9358 6511
The Bank
129 Pitt St, Sydney 9230 0521
Castle Hill Tavern
25 Victoria Ave, Castle Hill
Castles Nightclub
114 Castleraegh St, Sydney 9261 2238
Club 77
77 William St, King Cross 9361 4981
Club 209
209 Queen St, Campbelltown 4628 4283
Club Sydney
122 Pitt St, Sydney 9233 2171
Eden Nightclub
88 Oxford St, Darlinghurst 9331 5314
EP1
1 Earl Pl, Potts Point 9358 3990
Goodbar
11a Oxford St, Paddington 9360 6759
Jupiters Nightclub
Rear253 Windsor St, Richmond 4588 5594
Luna Lounge
176 George St, Sydney 9247 2727
M X Nightclub
Hunter St (Cnr Burdett St ). Hornsby 9477 5555
Metropolis Nightclub
Mount St, North Sydney 9954 3599
N V Nightclub
Lvl 1, 163 Oxford St, Darlinghurst 9360 5666
Nakita
104 Bathurst St, Sydney 92839199
Rogues Nightclub
Oxford St (Cnr Riley St) Darlinghurst 9380 9244
Shelbourne Hotel
Market St (Cnr Sussex St) Sydney 9267 3100
Sugareef Nightclub
20 Bayswater Rd, Kings Cross 9368 0763
Tantra
169 Oxford St, East Sydney 9331 7729
Tracks Nightclub
58 Beecroft Rd, Epping 9876 1855
GoodBar
11a Oxford St, Paddington
Zen
22 Bayswater Rd, Kings Cross 9358 4676
Rogues
16 Oxford Square, Sydney 9380 9244
DCM
33 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
The Pavilion Hotel
580 George St, Sydney
