IF TRUMP WAS THE CAPTAIN OF THE TITANIC
(Author unknown)
– There isn’t any iceberg
– It’s a fake iceberg
– There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean
– The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon
– There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg
– We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly
– I knew from the beginning there was an iceberg, long before people called it an iceberg
– The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg
– We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats
– Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them
– We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors
– Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats
– I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats
– We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers’ lifeboats
– The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship
– Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg
– I’m an expert on icebergs I’ve got lots of friends who deal with icebergs, some of the best, really good ice people who know ice
– Summer will come and the iceberg will disappear, it will go away, like magic
