Memory:
Thought I’d get this down while it was still in my mind. After all.
I haven’t thought of this for years.
Back in the early 1980s I was living in a large, 6-bedroom, share house in Gordon. It was an awesome party house – split level, with sunken lounge and entertaining area, out in the backyard there was a timber bridge over a creek to access the very private pool.
Pretty much the early-20s experience of partying with lots of illicit substances and alcohol. With 5-6 of us living there, the parties were always successful, due to the incredible range of people who’d show up.
Yet. Even while living in this hedonistic household, I still had curiosity towards exploring spirituality…
This led me, to turning up for an intro evening in Chatswood for something, if memory serves me, was called ‘Raja Yoga’.
Having no idea what to expect, I knocked on the front door of this house. At the front of my mind was a deadline of 75 minutes, as I was to be picked up to go to see Stevie Ray Vaughn and his brother, in concert.
The door opened.
I looked up the three steps to see who opened the door and saw standing before me, a skinny man, with a shaven head, dressed in a white, shin length, tunic.
The really strange thing that struck me, he was completely devoid of any personality.
It felt like there was nothing to him. It was the most bizarre experience.
Followed him down a corridor, to a room with seven people in it, sitting silently, if somewhat impatiently.
Nothing was happening – for nearly 10 minutes.
Another male, with the same appearance as the one who opened the front-door. Walked in and sat down in the central seat and began, what I would later call a ‘hypnotic talk’.
I was bored as fuck – couldn’t believe I’d locked myself into this room. ‘God, How do I get out of this?’ ‘This is a mistake’
The ‘talk’ was devoid of emotion, passion, connotation and any human inflection. A very real, rhythmic droning.
There was a feeling of restlessness in the room, which was somewhat alleviated by a meditation we were guided through.
In the post meditation, hypnotic talk induced trance state, we were in, the leader then stated he wanted each of us to stare at the candle flame in the centre of the group.
He will then take a few minutes looking into each of our eyes, and that when it came to our turn, could we each do the meditation practice to the best of our ability and just stare gently into his eyes.
‘WTF is this about?’ I said emphatically to myself. You could say I was more than a little skeptical.
Each person’s demeanor seemed to change after the eye gazing experience with the leader.
He finished with the woman sitting next to me and then ‘Oh well. Here we go’ it was my turn.
With a moments gazing into this man’s eyes, ‘Fuck me!’ ‘What is happening to me?’
Suddenly ‘I’ am thrust backwards, through and deep into my skull.
Where ‘I’, am observing this fellow, from the end of long, narrow, dark tunnel, seemingly, some distance behind where my body is sitting!
Mind is completely shattered and overwhelmed by this experience, which I have no reference points for.
In a silent daze, we all file out of the room, out the front door, and back into our lives.
I’m in an altered state of consciousness and the only reference point I have is some of drug experiences in my recent past. Yet, this is much cleaner and clearer.
I am myself, yet I’m not myself. Blissed out. Dazed yet present. A completely new experience.
In this new state. I’m then off to the Stevie Ray Vaughn gig, with my house mate. Which was absolutely amazing and I dare say.
Made much better due to this new state, I was in.
